We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
