Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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