well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
