But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
