It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
