Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
