Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
