As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
