i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
