did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
