weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
