This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
