I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
