I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
