just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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