JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
