No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
