Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
