i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
