Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
