We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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