i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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