"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
