...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
