used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
