The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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