How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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