You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
