Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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