she was so not down for the gang bang
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
