there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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