I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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