Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
