I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
