The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
