Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
