Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
