Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
