Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just found a bag of teeth...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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