and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
