Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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