im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
