Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
