Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
