If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
