question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
