guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
