he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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