If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
