Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
