then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
